Dear Kyle,
Everyone keeps telling me to leave you alone and stop letting you hurt me. It’s funny, I’m usually the one so in a rush to leave a guy in the dust. But after the multitude of times that I’ve done that to you, I can’t stand it. I don’t want to pretend like it’s any fun to ignore you. I believe in you. I believe you can get better just as soon as you want to. Please want to soon.
I have your Christmas present here. I wanted to give it to you on Tuesday when we were going to hang out but we both know things fall apart. I wanted to use it with you. I really think it’s cool and it should mean something to both of us but then I look at it and I realize…it’s not weed. And I think about what I lack that your other friends have. I wonder why it’s so easy for you to cancel plans with me. I think about how you made me drive you to Will’s house after Shen Yun. I think about how far out of your way you are willing to go for them.
I feel small comparatively. I wonder if I’ll ever be enough for you. I don’t know if I’ll give you the present. I want to use it with you but scheduling time with you is too risky. I’ll feel stupid if you don’t show….
Please get your priorities in order so I can know where I stand.
With all my love,
Augustine
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