Dear Kyle,
I woke up yesterday morning with this feeling, this exhausted feeling, like I had been running full speed for the past two weeks to offset the desire just to lay next to you. To feel your fingertips laced with TLC when they touched my skin, instead of the PCP I feel in your text message. It’s all damage and none of the high.
I miss you, which is ridiculous because it’s something I should honestly be used to by now. I’ve spent the majority of our relationship missing you, being a low priority, getting pushed back, blown off. You’d think I wouldn’t have to keep trying to run from the feeling, you’d think I’d just get used to walking with it.
But I don’t, because you give me moments without it where I just feel so free. And I crave them.
It’s the New Year. I don’t want to go into it feeling like this.
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