Monday, March 7, 2011

35/365 To Denver pt. 3 (free-write)

I boarded a plane the night of August 24, 2010 about 5 minutes before the gate closed
I'm wondering if I should have taken such close timing as fate begging me to turn around

rather than the typical happenstance of a procrastinator
I do know one thing 
I'm slow to give up the things I love most
I held on to you a bit longer than the suggested time....

I wonder if you caught sight of my unshed tears.
I know if I'd let them fall you couldn't have known
because I had my back turned to you
and forced myself to walk at a normal pace.
I pretended as though this was not hard to do.

The little amount of time I had to board my plane 
made me feel rushed.
The swift closing of the doors behind me
made me feel trapped.

I find it no coincidence that the bay is so close to my new home.
It's the same reason plane crashes in movies so often end up near the shore.
I feel that kind of stranded.
My heart is that kind of broken.

It seems you've been getting along pretty diligently without me.
Is it fair to say I did nothing of any significance for you?
Was I another face in the crowd?
Will you ever love me as much as I've loved you...?

If you are happy Denver, I am happy for you.
Despite the hole in my heart.

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