Monday, March 7, 2011

58/365 Eve (Feedback necessary!)

Major work in progress. More so, I just wanna see if the premise is clear. It's out of order and everything but I just need people to hollar out what they think the premise is so I can see how much clearer I need to make it. Thanks!

Eve, they say He created  the heaven's and the earth,
pulled you from a man's ribcage only on second thought,
but I've noticed a bit of melanoma missing from their pictures of you.
Eve, don't you let them call you evil
...
call you seductress, 
call you temptress when they're the ones who left you naked.
Forbidded your native tongue, the drum beats of your ancestors
the lavish language of you hips. 

Eve don't you let them call you evil
(build here?)
Cause if you let them, they'll call you bitch,
make you hit your knees and show you what forbidden fruit really tastes like.
Take from your roots of knowledge until you forget it's power.
Whip slave ships into you back and when that's no longer they'll slap a tube top over your pregnant belly and tell you you're only nearing your third trimester,
it's not too late to have it aborted.
And if you let them, 
they'll call it Planned Parenthood
and behind your back they'll call it Eugenics, call it extermination, call you stupid because if you were wise you'd  call it genocide.

Don't you let them call your child a burden,
don't you let him believe it.
Cause they'll photo shop guns into his hands until he's old enough to pick them up himself.

They'll plant drugs in his body until he's addicted,
Until they have every reason to put him behind bars,
they'll call it street sweeping
they've been calling our children the filth of the nation for centuries.
Don't forget your history Eve.

Don't let them straighten your hair and bleach you skin.
Don't lose your kinks,
your hips,
your fight,
your fire. 

Eve, don't you let them call you evil,
let them call you Goddess.
Wear bronze skin like a medal.
Black skin as beautiful as the Galaxy libraries.

Don't you let them water you down so they can control you.
Don't you let ANYONE tell you who you are.

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