Meanwhile, i have this extremely old poem that I have yet to publish because I can't seem to make it work. It's about the mentality of African Americans. Tell me the lines worth keeping no matter what happens through the editing process, the ones that need rephrasing and suggestions. Also any other suggestions about order or build or even performance. K, here we go.
(I want a build before this. Most ppl I let read this don't get what it's about. And clever ways to make it clear?)
And I'm trying to be gentle.
Because I know being beat down for centuries can have you feeling like you belong there.
You've befriended the problem.
Got complacent in a heavy blanket of our own misery,
begun to enjoy the chains paid for by welfare checks (can have you feeling like you belong there so you sign up for welfare in order to buy back the chains)
The television that tells us all the thing we can never have
but should spend your entire life chasing
and you wanna go complaining about how the main is holdin' you back and you can reach the american dream
Of course he is,
the don't want your Tower of Babylon to reach their heaven because then you'd find that their heaven is a fake.
(I want this stanza or some variant of it to go last)
But your steady on the streets tradin' souls for "that paper."
Selling the same drugs that will keep your community too sedated to fight when they come to knock down your homes.
It's preparation for genocide and you're not even lucid enough to see it coming.
But don't worry,
they won't come.
They needn't knock down your door,
you're already divided,
to conquer you is a disposable step in their plan of action.
History has taught them,
you'll do that yourself.
And they're gonna keep calling you a minority so you can keep forgetting that you out-number them 10-1 in both strength and population.
And the moment you realize that,
they fold.
You call their bluff.
Just look in
and you won't have to shoot up,
burn down or cuss out a <span>single thing</span> to do it.
Big boys don't cry,
thats what then do.
and you a boy walkin' around in a 30-year old's body,
cussing' when they offend you.
Don't pretend you,
don't get hurt by the words they send you
It's real easy to get angry
but it's a lot harder to get honest
Tellin them to suck dick mommas dick like…
and when the media tell you what is real,hip and what you should do,
<span>they</span> have absolute power
because who is checking and balancing your mind if not you.
Cause see,we've been lied to.
And "i" before 'c" is just the tip of the iceberg.
They envy your soul because they're constantly selling chunks of their's to keep their wallets above water because they don't really care about their heads,
they've been drowning in their mess for decades.
Sacrificing happiness and peace of mind with each dollar they print.
{Yeah, it's a mess. Have fun (: } I should also mention that I've felt very self-conscious about putting this out there. nothing but constructive, honest, criticism please!
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