Dear Reggie,
Cue the day I OFFICIALLY let you go.
It was a beautiful day in San Francisco as everyday has been since I returned for second semester.
I deleted and blocked you from Facebook last night while laying in bed with my roomie and holding her hand.
It was a big deal for me, lol. Defining moment for me. Cause I knew once that was finished, we were finished.
I woke up feeling my Fabulous Factor genuinely of the charts! This morning I called into Sprint (all by myself!) and blocked your number. Then I went into my e-mail to set your address to spam. To do this, I had to open at least one email from each of my accounts. Of course, I couldn't resist reading them before I let them go completely.
The first one CRACKED ME UP in that manic type of way. Why? Because you spelled it out. verbatim, what would happen between us once you left for New York. You said and I BLANTANTLY ignored you. You said you would not make time for me, that you didn't care how often we talked and that you were more than ready, willing and able to leave me with out even a backwards look. You said it. You were totally honest. And I outright disregarded. That, to me, was hilarious.
I guess, I didn't listen to you because I never wanted to believe I meant that little to you. But I do, and you told me. I have no one to blame for THAT miscommunication but myself. There are ways around being the go to person...even for ourselves. Even when the answer is clear.
So I laughed at myself, uncontrollably, all the way to my 3:30 class. I laughed at the way I taped love over my eye-lids and expected to act productively in this relationship. As a result, I was in a beyond blissful mood. My class was amazing. We went outside midway through and explored SF. I hadn't thought about you since the class started but suddenly, as I stood on the bridge over looking the river, the way the sun bounced of the water and caressed my face. I couldn't help but think, this it, this is life without Reggie. And God...it's beautiful.
Gapingly so and I frolicked, loved life, pick flowers sang songs and just...*sigh* felt good. I laughed with my friends and, it has nothing to do with you or even the shedding of you. It wasn't the first day I've had like that, it wasn't even the first day I was grateful, it was just further proof that I anything but need you.
So I journey back to my home, had dinner with a friend and then journeyed to my room to finish my e-mail project. I kept reading, only to find out, that I told you exactly what I desperately wanted to happen between us once you left. You assured me it would, that would never neglect me, that you would do your best to keep in touch and that I was out-of-line if I thought other-wise.
We were both really honest with each other and we both fooled ourselves into believing that the other would change there ways or views or wants. We were silly. Anyway, It’s not hard to leave you. Much love and support. I wish you the best.
Dueces,
Dom!! :P
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