Dear Kyle,
It has been recently discovered that I only tell you I'm leaving "tomorrow" because I like to see the worried look on your face. The one that says you care about me. That says you love me. That I am enough for you. Even though I'm not pot.
You don't realize how bad I resent weed these days. I only smoked it for you. Because I thought I'd seem cooler in your eyes. I thought if I were always down to smoke you would want to hang out with me more often. But when it boils down to it, when the text flood in of all the people that want to hang out with you, I know the only choice you see is pot or no pot, hang out with me or get high. It's obvious to both of us the one you choose.
I leave February 1st. I'm saying it because I know it won't make a difference whether I leave tomorrow or a month from now. I ignored your poem at the party because it didn't make difference how many times you recognize your mistakes.
It doesn't matter how many times that glint of care flashes in your eyes. No matter how many times you hug goodbye or make promises of the time we will spend together. I'm never gonna get that time.
Peace and Light King,
I love you with all of my being.
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