6/30 She's A Writer

She’s a Writer

She’s a writer.

Her mind can’t hold a steady idea

but the words flow out of her as if they’d been built up for several years

kind of like her tears,

but she’s not crying now…

You see,

The ink from her pen was enough liquid to sustain the blood in her veins

Because while visions of glass hitting the wall in pieces,

Just so she can drive its biggest shard into her wrist danced in her head,

She’s calmed by the rhythmic motion of the pen instead,

These feelings are unwed,

uninhabitable,

and unjustifiable

But the load is lifted because she is gifted,

She’s a writer.

She’s a writer.

And though she fears she cannot always claim that title because words like

‘sleezy’, ‘broken’ and ‘unworthy’ often sound more accurate,

She can’t help but marvel at the masterpiece pain creates.

You see,

What she’s been through is indescribable until she puts it to words

That pain is irrevocable until her pen hits the paper

beckoning heaven to open it’s pearly white gates

and invite her where no one else deemed her fit

She’s a writer.

Plagued with writing the words that clog her throat

so that when she looks you in the eyes speechless

you’ll know that she cannot be heard,

only read and

through the often illegible scraps of handwriting

the disfigurements of her heart is shown

transparent through the lines of the paper like venetian blinds

refusing to close on even the most disturbing scenes

She’s exposed,

But unashamed

She’s a writer.

She’s a writer.

Un-subversive to Microsoft check and grammatical superiority

because a period would make it appear as if she could pause for breath

and an exclamation point is too silent

The outcries of her soul cannot be described through a line and a dot

Rather the conscious flow of thought void of pause or room to breathe

She’s a writer.

Letting it all leak through her pen

Letting the pen bleed a way down the journal

so maybe her heart won’t have to be so heavy

Within the leather bounding of her journal is the only place where her emotion matters,

Where her love is not a curse,

She’s important there

Because it’s the only place she can be who she truly is

She’s a writer.